Out of My Mind
by Caitlinlaurie
Summary: Matt overhears the thoughts of the Petrellis, and it's not pretty. Sylar/Elle, Paire, Arthur, Angela, Trathan, Matt/Daphne. Crack!fic


**Title:** Out of My Mind (1/1)  
**Author:** Caitlinlaurie  
**Rating:** PG-13 for adult themes  
**Characters/Pairing:** Sylar/Elle, Paire, Arthur, Angela, Trathan, Matt/Daphne  
**Prompt**: Write a fic where you get other character's reactions/thoughts on the Gabriel(Sylar)/Elle relationship.  
**Spoilers:** up through 3.08, "Villains" and 3.09 "It's Coming"  
**Summary:** Matt overhears the thoughts of the Petrellis, and it's not pretty.  
**A/N:** Ok, so this is kind of a cracky fic. But really, it is not too much of a stretch that this could happen. I meant to write this as a serious piece on Matt's thoughts on Syelle, and this is what came out. My apologies.

**Note: I don't own, I am just borrowing.**

* * *

…_Matt is so cute! I dunno what it is about him, but he just makes me so hot! _...

Matt tried not to let his cheeks get red as he listened to Daphne's thoughts. He normally would not be so rude as to listen without permission, but ever since Daphne had dream-stabbed him, he had been keeping a careful ear out. But if he was hoping to hear some evil plot, so far he had been disappointed. Her thoughts were pretty innocuous, with nothing worse than a stray thought here or there about her desire to see Matt lose a little bit of weight. That one had hurt, but then she had followed it with a thought of how she loved that he was big and strong, so his feelings had been slightly mollified.

The only problem with keeping an ear open like this was that he tended to pick up stray thoughts as well, thoughts that he had no business hearing. And when he was sitting in a room with Petrellis, well, that could be very dangerous.

The Petrelli family had gathered to form a truce. Angela, Peter, Nathan, and Claire on one side and Arthur, Gabriel/Sylar, and Elle on the other. And Tracy, come to think of it, Matt didn't know which side she was on, but he didn't really care either, so that worked out fine.

The only reason Matt and Daphne were there as well was because Daphne had a thing for the Petrellis. "Are you kidding?" She had said when he suggested that they leave. "This is a Petrelli summit. That's like a meeting of the Axis of Evil. Dinner theatre at it's finest! We can't leave!" Matt had just shaken his head and taken a seat in the corner.

…_I wonder what our baby with look like? Will she look like me or will she have black hair and Matt's brown eyes? Jesus, __Angela Petrelli__ is one cold bitch!_...

Matt tried not to chuckle as he looked at the scene before him. Arthur was doing his best to win back his wife, and Angela was looking at him as if he were an insect on the bottom of her shoe.

_That's right Arthur_, Angela thought, _beg me!_

Matt rolled his eyes. Only Angela could be that vicious when she was the winner.

…_and the flowers could be white roses and lilies and I can have Peter walk me down the aisle…or maybe not. Maybe Matt has a friend he likes better…_

Matt smiled to himself. It was obvious that Daphne had no alternative motives. He was just about to turn off his power when he caught a stray thought.

_God, she is beautiful._ Matt perked his ears up. Who exactly was Peter thinking about? _With her gorgeous blond hair, God, I would like to grab chunks of it when she is sucking—_

Matt pulled back from his power with horror. Yuck, no one should ever have to hear _that_ kind of thought.

Matt followed Peter's gaze over to where Elle and Claire sat on the couch. Huh. Who would have thought that Peter liked Elle? He was incredibly surprised. Matt had never seen them do more that glare at each other. Wincingly, Matt went into Peter's thoughts again.

_...God, this is so wrong. My brother is going to kill me..._

Well, that was certainly true. It was obvious that Sylar considered Elle his; he certainly was not going to take lightly to his brother trying to steal her away.

_But what if he doesn't have to know?_ Peter thought._ We wouldn't have to tell him. That way we could be together and Nathan's head wouldn't explode._

Nathan? Why would Nathan care if Peter was with Elle?

…_If only she wasn't my niece…_

Oh, sick! Matt recoiled with horror. He couldn't believe that Peter was thinking of **Claire** that way. That was so wrong. Poor Claire, Matt thought. He hoped she didn't know her uncle was a big pervert. Matt looked at her, and then his stomach started to turn when he saw the way she was looking at Peter.

…_It's not so bad really. What is blood anyway? It is not like I knew he was my uncle when I started having these feelings. We could move to Paris. It's not illegal there. No one would have to know that we share a few, okay several, family members…_

Matt wanted to gag. How was it possible that he had never noticed this before? He was a cop for Christ's sake. He could read minds! How the hell did he not notice that there was a felony happening before his very eyes?

…_What did he mean when he said I was becoming a woman. Ha! He has no idea. The things I would like to do with him_…

Matt yanked back hard from Claire's mind. So hard in fact that he stumbled into someone else's. He could not tell whose at first, but then it became clear.

…_What will my life be like when I am First Lady? I hope Nathan doesn't want more children, it would ruin my figure. Darcy Johnson will regret the day that she stole Bobby Flynn from me when I am married to the leader of the free world_…

Matt snorted. If a more vapid creature than Tracy existed, Matt had not met her.

…_When I am president, I am going to have to make sacrifices. Maybe I should practice a speech, and the facial expressions that go with it. I need to convey a sense of understanding and try to seem humble_…

Jesus, they were perfect for each other, Matt thought. Matt noticed then that Angela seemed to have gotten the submission and groveling from Arthur that she required because she was grinning like a canary.

…_You'll pay for this, you bitch. One day, when I get my powers back from Peter, you'll rue the day you ever crossed me_…

Matt chuckled to himself. It was nice to see Arthur suffer, considering what he had done to Matt's father. Matt might not have liked his dad, but that did not mean he wished him gone.

He then picked up another set of thoughts.

…_I wonder what he is thinking about right now? If there is a truce, does that mean we could go out on a date? Maybe go to a movie? There is that new Jason movie coming out. Wait…that could be a bad idea_…

Matt smiled. Elle's thoughts were kind of sweet. Almost like she was a teenager thinking about a boy she liked.

…_I wonder if Gabriel feels the same way?_...

Matt tried not to convey any expression, but it was weird that Elle felt that way about Sylar. It was almost like those women who married serial killers. Wait, no; it was _exactly_ like those women who married serial killers.

…_Should I make the first move?... Is Parkman looking at me? Oh, God, he is. He is reading my thoughts. Don't think about sex. Don't think about sex_…

Matt laughed to himself.

…_God, she is so beautiful_…

Matt clutched his head in agony. Not again Peter! But then he realized it was not Peter's thoughts he had stumbled upon. It was Sylar's.

…_I don't know what I ever did to deserve such a perfect angel. Angel, yes that is the perfect description for her. I called her that when I first met her, and it fits as well now as it did then. She brought me back from the edge once, and then she did it again. I wonder what our future is going to be like. Will we be together? We must be together. Peter told me of the future. I have a son; Elle must be the mother! I could not imagine a better woman to give birth to my child. Neither of us had as home; we can be each other's home now_…

Matt felt deeply touched and deeply uncomfortable to be so far into Sylar's thoughts. Who could ever have known he was capable of feelings such as this?

…_We belong together. That is so clear to me now. I can be the man that she wants me to be, and she already is the woman that I want. My God, I love her! When did this happen? One moment we were fighting, and then the cell, and now…I love her_…

Matt smiled.

…_I am going to tell her the next time we are alone. I am going to walk right up to her, tell her that I love her, and then I am going to bend her over the table and fu_—

"Stop!!!!" Matt yelled, clutching his head and standing. The entire room turned to him with surprise. Matt could no longer keep in all the twisted and perverted thoughts that the Petrellis had been sending his way. "You're all sick, you know that? Sick!!!"

"You!" He yelled, pointing at Arthur. "What the hell is your problem? This woman is your wife. How can you think about her like that?"

"She tried to kill me!"

"And you locked her in her mind. It's time to call it even!" Matt then whirled to Angela, "And you! Stop enjoying this so much. No one likes a bad winner!"

Matt then looked at Nathan and Tracy, "And you two… you are perfect for each other."

They both smiled.

"That wasn't a compliment!" Matt roared. He then looked at Elle. "Stop thinking dirty thoughts and just tell him how you feel. I promise you that he feels the same way."

"He does?" Elle asked, her voice hopeful.

"He does," Matt confirmed. He then looked at Sylar. "You! Grow a pair and tell her that you love her."

"Hey!" Sylar protested. "I wanted to tell her myself." He raised a finger…

"Don't you dare point you're finger at me," Matt growled, causing Sylar to put his finger down. Then Matt turned to the final two people in the room.

He looked at Peter and said, "Stop thinking about it. You're right; it's sick and a felony."

Peter sputtered, "But—"

"Felony!"

"I don't—"

"Felony!"

"What—"

"FELONY!!!" Matt yelled. He then looked at Claire. "And that goes doubly for you. May I offer you some words of advice? Grow up!"

Matt turned back to Peter and said, "And you're right, Nathan's head will explode. Mine nearly did."

Peter had the good sense to look sheepish.

"Why is my head going to explode?" Nathan asked, confused.

"I'll tell you later, dear," Angela said.

Matt rounded on her. "You knew about this?"

"Of course I did," She said calmly. "I dream the future, remember? This is nothing compared to what it would have been like if they grew up together."

Matt recoiled. "This whole family is twisted! Of all of you, the people with the most normal thoughts are the former serial killer and the sociopath!!"

Matt grabbed Daphne's hand and stormed through the door, yelling behind him, "I am going to need therapy after this!!!"

Once they were in the hall, Daphne turned to him and said, "Matt, what the hell?"

Matt shuddered. "Trust me you don't want to know."

Daphne tapped her foot in annoyance.

Matt shook his head. "Let's just say that the mind of a Petrelli is a dark and twisted place to visit."

The End


End file.
